this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
