Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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