you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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