I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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