dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????