I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.