i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.