Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.

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(248): I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you. http://tfl.nu/rwr0

Replies (1) Good night (1152) Bad night (569)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.

(515): View more from Iowa

I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.

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(918): Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama. (515): I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott. http://tfl.nu/z2im

Replies (121) Good night (1764) Bad night (1483)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober

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(403): i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober http://tfl.nu/y1xh

Replies (28) Good night (1180) Bad night (3946)
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(619): View more from California

i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out

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(619): i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out http://tfl.nu/smzd

Replies (20) Good night (733) Bad night (3408)
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(207): View more from Maine

hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.

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(207): hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either. http://tfl.nu/vb3y

Replies (47) Good night (6385) Bad night (1642)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip

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(609): i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip http://tfl.nu/9463

Replies (10) Good night (3632) Bad night (1634)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..

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(606): Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley.. http://tfl.nu/q4d8

Replies (13) Good night (3481) Bad night (1077)
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(712): View more from Iowa

in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.

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(712): in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am. http://tfl.nu/pxzm

Replies (5) Good night (2587) Bad night (1153)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?

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(828): If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me? http://tfl.nu/3q2x

Replies (5) Good night (2499) Bad night (869)
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(503): View more from Oregon

She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?

(503): View more from Oregon

Employee of the year! :)

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(503): She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning? (503): Employee of the year! :) http://tfl.nu/boh1

Replies (5) Good night (1992) Bad night (653)
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(206): View more from Washington

Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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(206): Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/2o7o

Replies (8) Good night (1433) Bad night (544)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

breakfast of champions

(423): View more from Tennessee

breakfast of stoners

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(423): animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful (1-423): breakfast of champions (423): breakfast of stoners http://tfl.nu/cslr

Replies (6) Good night (1339) Bad night (612)
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(571): View more from Virginia

So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock

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(571): So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock http://tfl.nu/1xfu

Replies (3) Good night (1639) Bad night (855)
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(417): View more from Missouri

Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.

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(417): Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/mh6q

Replies (4) Good night (939) Bad night (464)
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(216): View more from Ohio

I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!

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(216): I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb! http://tfl.nu/8pq7

Replies (10) Good night (256) Bad night (711)

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