Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did you manage that?

(860): View more from Connecticut

Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis

(203): View more from Connecticut

lol... jersey girls rock

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start

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(719): View more from Colorado

just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?

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(614): View more from Ohio

can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?

(740): View more from Ohio

bitches.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(763): View more from Minnesota

Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.

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(650): View more from California

I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

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(+61): View more from Australia

I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.

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