This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night