I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?