Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.