Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
