He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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