your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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