i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
