I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
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