News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
