Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I've blown a few things in my day
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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