Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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