There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
