I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
