You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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