so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
