Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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