My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
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