It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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