I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
