omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
