Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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