WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
