you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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