May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize