Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it because I queefed?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
