And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
He uses pillows to masturbate.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
