he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
