Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
