make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
