How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
