Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize