dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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