Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
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