I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
