I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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