dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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