please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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