sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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