Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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