you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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