Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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