tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
