i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
