Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
