yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
