hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
