she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
