oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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