you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
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