i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
