I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
