can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize