i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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