At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
