glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
