you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
