Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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